"A Few Good SysAdmins" joke

User: I want some answers.
Administrator: You want answers?
User: I think I'm entitled to them.
Administrator: You want answers?
User: I want the truth!
Administrator: You can't handle the truth!
We live in a world that has Computers, and those Computers have to be
connected by people with a clue.
Who's gonna do it? You?
You users make me sick. I have a greater responsibility than you can
possibly fathom.
You weep for your email and you curse the local administrator.
You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that
this network, while screwed up, and confusing to you, probably saved time.
And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time.
You don't want the truth, because deep down, in places you don't talk about
at parties, you want us in this office.
You need us in this office.
We use words like DNS, LDAP, and SCRIPTS...we use these words as the
backbone to a life spent playing with computers. You use 'em as a reason to
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a person
who surfs and emails under the blanket of the very network I provide, and
then questions the manner in which I provide it!
I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way.
Otherwise, I suggest you pickup a mouse and design your own network. Either
way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
User: Did you shutdown my email?
Administrator: You don't want to know.
User: Did you shutdown my file server?
Administrator: You don't want to know.
User: Did you shutdown my internet access?
Administrator: You're damn right I did!!!

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