"50 Ways to Appreciate Life" joke

50 Ways to Appreciate Life
1. Watch the sunset- on a sled.
2. Smile more, -it might get you a free beer.
3. Complain less. -It might get you a free beer.
4. Surprise a friend with a call. - It might get you a free beer.
5. Develop your gifts. - You might need them.
6. Count your blessings. - You might need these too!
7. Talk to someone in an elevator. - Particularly ones with Arctic Cat jackets on, or those carrying beer.
8. Breathe consciously once in a while. - This cures snoring.
9. Enjoy sneezes - and stay behind the one sneezing.
10. Appreciate that your leg isn't broken, - unless you are an actor.
11. Be unique, -it demonstrates difference!
12. Sing in the shower. - With a friend!
13. Put your shoes on the wrong feet and laugh at yourself, - or have someone laugh at you.
14. Make someone's day, - or night.
15. Stand on your head. - For a free beer!
16. Stare at the world above you. - Hopefully not from under a bar.
17. Play with an animal. - Be sure it is one which cannot eat you!
18. Slurp Jell-O. -Add Vodka for flavor.
19. Do something unplanned. - Plan to do it this weekend!
20. Plan to do something and have it go as planned. - This is hard!
21. Stand back and look in. - Tell my wife this when shopping all the time.
22. Appreciate a paradox - paradox a appreciate.
23. Dive in. - Naked!
24. Get grass stains. - Naked :)
25. Wave your hands in the air.- Use the middle finger at birds.
26. Swim with the fishes. - Again, naked.
27. Make maple syrup. - Don't use pine juice.
28. Climb a tree. -Don't climb a pine.
29. Spin in a circle once while walking to class. - Don't fall in a mud puddle.
30. Tell someone they look nice. - You look nice.
31. Collect something, - like taxes from the tax collector!
32. Walk barefoot every chance you get. - Even in the snow!
33. Build a sand castle, - or a snowman.
34. Walk with no destination. - Talk with no destination.
35. When all your exams are done, treat yourself to an ice cream cone. - OK I WILL! Then a beer.
36. Entertain yourself by making faces. - bend over and see if they look the same.
37. Don't just listen, try to hear. -Then try to listen to a friend.
38. Wear shoes until they're so old they won't stay on your feet. -Then wear them swimming.
39. Appreciate the primary colors. - Know them!
40. When you wake up, realize you're alive. - Promise not to use vulgarities.
41. Walk in the rain, - with a bar of soap.
42. Blow bubbles, - in the tub!
43. Make the most of where you are. - Ride an Arctic Cat!
44. Jump as high as you can. - Come down on an empty beer can, and recycle it.
45. Dance - in bed
46. Talk less and say more. -Carry a BIG stick.
47. Exercise before you diet. - 12 oz. curls don't count do they?
48. Learn to play chess. - That and Linear Algebra may come in handy.
49. Sit by a river. - With a beer, on an Arctic Cat.
50. Never lose your sense of humor. - You will need it!