"20 Fun things for a public bathroom" joke
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please? 13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me! 14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks.17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."20. Fill a flask with lemonade, spray it at the cieling saying "Now watch as I catch this in my mouth..."
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
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Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...