Year-round Jokes

Here's the transcript of my recent communication to Bigelow, inspired by a
sampling of their atrocious "I Love Lemon Herb Tea."
Dear Sirs,
I am writing to complain about the performance of one of your products, to
wit: Bigelow I Love Lemon Herb Tea. Having recently sampled said item in a
culinary context, I am convinced that it is the most unappealing, tasteless, and
unprofessional tea I have ever encountered.
Each teabag is enveloped in a package that reads "A year-round valentine
for everyone who really loves lemon." Well, I happen to be an ardent
enthusiast for that particular flavor, and I can assure you that this alleged
tea tastes less like lemon than most electric home appliances. The only way
this substance could be considered a "year-round valentine" is by taking the
meaning of "valentine" as "a heart," which, if left out in the open for a
year, would be encrusted with more...