Yeah Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day there is a well-educated man sitting in a redneck bar reading a book. A Redneck happens to wander over to him and asks, "Whatcha there reading Mister?"
The educated man replies, "It's a book about logic".
Confused, the redneck replies "Logic? What's logic?"
The educated man explains to the man, "Logic is the ability to come to a conclusion knowing only one fact. For example, do you own a weed whacker?"
The Redneck shouts, "Hell yeah I own a weed whacker!"
So the educated man continues, "Well, if you have a weed whacker, and I know you have a weed whacker, I know you have a lawn. If I know you have a lawn I know you have a house. If you have a house, demographically speaking I can deduce that you are a white male, 35-50 yrs old, and a heterosexual. Therefore, by knowing that you have a weed whacker I know that you are straight. Am I correct?"
The redneck responds flabbergasted "Hell yeah more...

ALABAMA:
Literacy Ain't Everything

ARKANSAS:
Exporters of Everything But Honesty

CALIFORNIA:
Se Habla Ingles

FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State

GEORGIA:
The Culture State: Jews and Negroes Allowed Since 1993

INDIANA:
Home of Dan Quayle

KANSAS:
Don't Blame Us, We Voted For Dole

KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a Vegetable

LOUISIANA:
I Drink, Therefore I Am

MARYLAND:
We're Better Than Virginia, Damn It!

MINNESOTA:
Land of 10,000 Lakes and a Lot of Really WHITE People

MISSOURI:
We're kinda to the west of Indiana and east of Kansas... and oh yeah we're right near Iowa!

MONTANA:
Only a few of us are nutbar freaks who build bombs and put them in the mail.

NEW JERSEY:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney

NEW YORK:
People say we're ambivalent and more...

This girl is walking with her boyfriend in the park and she asks... Hunny... will you remember me in a day?... uummm... yeah.
Will you remember me in a week... yah...in a year? yeah. ok well knock, knock? whos there? gosh sweety you already forgot me.

Thoughts and stories from on the jobMy boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, "Is this what you get paid for ?" I told him, "Nope! I do this for free." This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." I couldn't resist and added a note: "And now you know why too". Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work ?" I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions ?" She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?" People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah ??? When's more...

Debra LaFave, the school teacher who had sex with a teenage student said, "Yeah, he wanted it, and yeah, I gave it to him."
The network edited out one key word, "Syphilis."

When Tom, the rising young insurance executive, appeared at his friend Ed's home in the early-morning hours, asking to be put up for the night, Ed was concerned by his friend's hollow-eyed appearance.

"What happened, Tom? You and your wife have a fight?"

"Yeah. When I got home tonight I was really beat, tired as hell. So when she asked me for fifty dollars for a new dress. . . "

"Yeah?"

"Well," Tom went on sheepishly, "I guess I must have been half asleep or something, because I said,' All right, but let's finish this dictation first.' "

This newfy comes to america and never had sex before. His friend in newfoundland told him if he wanted to learn about sex to go see the hookers in america they would teach him sex.
so the newfy found a hooker and asked her:
(newfy)-i never had sex before and i was told to see you to learn!
(hooker)-yes well we will start with a 69!
(newfy)-ok sure!!!
So they get into position and the newfy is not to sure about what he should be doing?
so he putts one hand on her ass! and the hooker let's a big fart go!!
(hooker) oop's sorry about that are you ok?
(newfy making a weird face)- yeah sure!
So the newfy putts the other hand on her ass and she let's an even bigger fart out!
(hooker)- sorry are you ok?
(newfy gasping for air)yeah i'll be ok thanks!
So the newfy putts both his hands on her ass and the hooker let's a big juicy stinky fart and say's:
(hooker)-i'm really really sorry about that!!!
(newfy almost puking )-It's ok but i think more...