Yale Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red' 'H'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue' 'Y'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green' 'M'' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what... is it good for?"
- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, 1981
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of more...

Four Guys, From Harvard, Yale, Mit And Santa Singh From Punjab University Were To Be Interviewed For A Prestigious Job. One Common Question Was Asked To All 4 Of Them.

Interviewer: Which Is The Fastest Thing In The World?
1. Yale Guy: Its Light, Nothing Can Travel Faster Than Light.
2. Harvard Guy: It's The Thought; b'cos Thought Is So Fast It Comes Instantly In Your Mind.
3. Mit Guy: Its Blink, You Can Blink And Its Hard To Realize You Blinked
4. Santa Singh: Its Loose Motion
Interviewer: (Shocked To Hear Santa's Reply, Asked) "Why"?
Santa Singh: Last Night After Dinner, I Was Lying In My Bed And I Got The Worst Stomach Cramps, And Before I Could Think, Blink, Or Turn On The Lights, It Was Over!!!!

The Interviewer Then Told Santa Singh To Wear Red Coloured Shorts During Such Situations.

Santa Was Confused; He Asked "Red Shorts? ?? How Does It Help"

The Interviewer Told "Dont You Know more...

Q: How many Yale students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. New Haven looks better in the dark.

A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."

A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, “Didn’t they teach you to wash your hands at Yale? ”
The Yale grad responded, “They taught us not to piss on our hands. ”

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!