Wooden Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. "Would you like to dance with me?"he asked. She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!"

An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has
been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German
"airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almost
entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun
emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.
The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied
photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.
The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last
wooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed
the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a
large wooden bomb.

Harry was sensitive about his wooden leg and afraid no woman would have him. He was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage. He couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancée about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.
The wedding night came and went, and the young couple was at last alone in their hotel room. "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," said the bride.
Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump.
"Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that is a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!"

An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that hasbeen told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German"airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almostentirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gunemplacements, trucks, and aircraft.The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Alliedphoto experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the lastwooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossedthe Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped alarge wooden bomb.

A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms with his homosexuality and decided to "come out of the closet." His plan was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit, he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon.
Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had realized he was gay.
Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, "You mean, homosexual?"
"Well...yes."
Still without looking up: "Does that mean you suck men's penises?"
Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and, brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose, snapped:
"Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"

The MP was making his rounds through the Sembawang kampung area. In Ah Chye's kampung house, the MP noticed a pig with a wooden leg hobbling about. "Excuse me," the MP said to ah Chye, "but why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "Oh, it's like this, sir... one night a robber entered our household, tied all of us up, stole our jewelry and was about to escape when the pig came out of nowhere, attacked the robber and saved us all." "Oh, I see," said the MP uncertainly, "but I still don't understand. Why does the pig have a wooden leg?" "Oh, it's like this, sir... There was a fire when we were all out to the cinema at Chong Pang. The pig alerted our neighbors, ran around organizing a water bucket system and helped the firemen put out the fire." The MP was getting quite frustrated. "Listen, Mr Chye, That is all very interesting, but I still don't understand why the pig has a wooden leg." "Oh, it's like this, more...

An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that hasbeen told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German"airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almostentirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gunemplacements, trucks, and aircraft. The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Alliedphoto experts had more than enough time to observe and report it. The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the lastwooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossedthe Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped alarge wooden bomb.