Wooden Jokes / Recent Jokes

I lived in DC when I was young, and dad used to take us on weekend
trips south into the Carolinas, so that we could see what ''real
life'' was like. He'd just drive along the road for a while, then
pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.
Dad was chatting up a farmer's wife once, when I discovered this pig...
It was a nice pig, as pigs go. But it only had three legs. The right
back leg was wooden! Well, I was as curious as could be, so I asked
the farmer:
"Excuse me, sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?"
"Well, boy. That there is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep
in the house one night, when that pig came running in and woke us up.
The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive."
"And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"
"Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in
and saved the kids."
"Then why does the pig have more...

A guy is driving through the countryside and suddenly develops car trouble.

The highway is rather deserted, and having no other choice, he pulls his car over. Fortunately, he spies a farmhouse a little ways up and walks there in hope of using a phone to call for help.

At the house, a farmer answers the door, and hearing the man's plight, welcomes him in to use the phone.

While the man is on the phone calling a towing service, he notices something odd in the farmer's backyard: a pig with a wooden leg. Waiting for the tow truck, the two strike up a conversation.

The man can't help his curiosity and asks the farmer, "Was that a pig with a wooden leg I saw in your yard?" "Sure was," the farmer replies. The man says, "I have to know, why does the pig have a wooden leg?"

"Well, that's a very special pig," the farmer says. "One day, I tripped and sprained my ankle near the highway. That pig more...

There were once three guys with no dicks. They all went to the doctor's. The first guy says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!" "What's the problem?" asks the doctor.
"I have no dick!"
So the doctor gives him a metal dick and tells him to come back in a week.
The next guy comes in and says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!"
"What's wrong?" the doctor asks.
"I have no dick!"
The doctor gives him a wooden dick and tells him to come back in a week.
The last guy comes in and has the same problem. The doctor gives him an electrical dick, and also tells him to come back in a week.
A week later, the first guy with the metal dick goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I hate you, I hate you!"
"Why?" asks the doctor.
"Well, everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she starts to shiver!" He walks out.
The next guy with the wooden dick comes in more...

A tender for supply of school equipment put out by the office of the District Superintendent of Education, Bihar, invited' Quotationers' to make offers for the following articles:

1. Bras and Bell - 1 kg with wooden humber.

2. Jumetry set in wooden box.

3. Glob - 8" Dymiter.

4. Bucket (Balti) 10".

5. Spad Nos. of tata.

6. Aluminium mfg. for one liter

7. Wooden Black Board 1 big 5'x3. 5" for shakhua wood with two kari.

8. Wooden Black Board (small) 3. 5" x 2. 5" for shakhua wood with two kari.

9. Maps - India World Tirhut Commissionary and West Charaparan Rajnaitik and Historical map of Bihar historical approved by survey department.

10. Charts - Digesting system, skeleton, health sanitation, historical, Bhavan, Kala, Darshan, Shambidhan, Jiwa Vigyan, Bhawtik Vigyan, Rashayan Vigyan.

Now you know why Biharis are amongst the most illiterate in more...

First, I was going to tell you about the wooden car that I built, with a wooden engine, but it wooden go.
Then, I built it out of steel, but it steel wooden go.
Finally, I built it out of tin; now it tin go!
I even put Italian tires on it. Dago through rain, dago through mud, dago through snow.
But, when dago flat, dago Wop, Wop, Wop!

A traveller was driving through Arkansas when he lost his way and got off the main highway.

As he drove by, he saw rows and rows of pigsties and pigpens and pigs running in fields and pigs wallowing in mud. Suddenly, his eye caught something really strange. He did a double take, muttered to himself and then looked a third time. He wondered if he had seen correctly - it looked like a pig with a wooden leg!

He found the lane to the farm and drove up into the farmyard, where he was met by the farmer. "Excuse me," the traveller said. "I was just driving by and looking at all your pigs, and I noticed something that I just had to stop and ask about. Tell me, did I see right? Is there really a pig out there with a wooden leg?"

The farmer smiled. "Oh, that would be old Caesar you saw. He's the finest pig a man could ever hope to have - and smart! Well, let me tell you a little about that pig. You see that barge down there on the river? more...

A traveler was driving through Arkansas when he lost his way and got off the main highway. As he drove by, he saw rows and rows of pigsties and pigpens and pigs running in fields and pigs wallowing in mud. Suddenly, his eye caught something really strange. He did a double take, muttered to himself and then looked a third time. He wondered if he had seen correctly - it looked like a pig with a wooden leg!He found the lane to the farm and drove up into the farmyard, where he was met by the farmer. "Excuse me," the traveler said. "I was just driving by and looking at all your pigs, and I noticed something that I just had to stop and ask about. Tell me, did I see right? Is there really a pig out there with a wooden leg?" The farmer smiled. "Oh, that would be old Caesar you saw. He's the finest pig a man could ever hope to have - and smart! Well, let me tell you a little about that pig. You see that barge down there on the river? That's a mining dredge, taking out more...