Window Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for theevening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go atit.When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat theperformance.The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. Whenfinished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes adeep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumpsback into bed with the hooker and starts again.The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. Duringthe fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes adeep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds fourChinese men.

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

The following our signs seen overseas where the actual message of the signs became somewhat lost in the english translation. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 & 11 am daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to more...

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday
when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft`s electronic navigation and communications
equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could
not determine the helicopter`s position and course to
steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled,
drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the
helicopter`s window. The pilot`s sign said
"WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the
aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a
building window.
Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined
the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the
pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER"
sign helped determine their position.
The more...

This man comes to the Pearly Gates and is a little confused as to whereto report to God to get a determination on Heaven or Hell. He sees one sign that says: "For Women" and then notices a sign that says: "For Men."

As he approaches the aisle for men, he sees one window with a sign: "For men who were dominated by women in life". The line of men standing in that line was very long.

Then he saw another sign that said: "For men who dominated women." He went to the second window and was the only one in the line.

At the window, God approached him and remarked, "Wow, I have not had a man stand in this line for over a hundred years - you must be a tough person."

"Well no," he replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans. Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy." Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy." Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."

Two young guys were at a party in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of thunder and rain. The two ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.

All of a sudden an old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! The passenger screamed out, "Eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?)

The old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You have any tobacco?"

The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!" more...