Wall Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Wolfpack says, "I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.
The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, "POOF" there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.
The Blue Devil says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Blue Devil more...

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father." The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Into town I drove my tank
I was gonna rob a bank.
My money was running really low
As I got near I shouted "bank ho!"
Drove a hole right through the wall
Found I was in a shoppin' mall.
I 'poligized'n left through the hole.
I was definitely not on a roll.
I snuck a look at my GPS™
Blew up a truck labeled HESS™.
Then I proceeded towards the bank
Oh how dearly I love my tank.
Headed towards the Eastern wall
Ran a kid over, like a doll.
With a push and a heave, the wall broke.
The button "fire" I got ready to poke.
Oh so fun to rob a bank
'cept my hair was pretty lank.
Wouldn't believe how hot it was there,
Humidity is bad for your hair.
Shot down the security,
Their defense was very measly.
Then I headed towards the main vault,
Abruptly my tank came to a halt.
"Out of gas!" I exclaimed.
Hopped out but a guard I had maimed,
He took out a big gun and more...

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven? "The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven? " "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? " O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven? "O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
On his Deathbed! "Father Murphy was ministering to a man on his deathbed.
"Renounce Satan!" yelled Father Sullivan.
"No!," said the dying man.
"I say, renounce more...

'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Reckneck Version
'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin' 'Cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.
That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12 Jim Bob was 11
Dud goin' on 10 Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3:
The twins were both girls So they let them be.
They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns They grabbed them all.
Bubba said to the young'uns, ''Now hesh up ya'll!
The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw.''
Maw was expecting And needed her sleep,
So out they crept more...