Wall Jokes / Recent Jokes

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"--George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"--Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?. .. I bet if they did, I hope I would say,' Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"--George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex. .. uh... setbacks." --George Bush"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change." --Dan Quayle"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." --Dan Quayle during a more...

A man was sent to war in the middle east. Upon entering the camp he is greeted by his superior who informs him that this is a peaceful camp and if he should ever become horny that the answer to all his problems was located behind the camp wall. When he looked over the wall he saw a huge hairy camel and vowed that he would never become horny here and that he could wait until he got home.
Two weeks passe and he soon became extremely horny so he tolded one of his mates his problem. The other guy said " No problem. Just look over that wall there and there is the answer to all your problems."
The guys face lights up with joy and he ran over to the wall expecting to see something different but it was still the same old camel. He thought no way in hell and went about his business.
A month later he couldn't take it anymore. He asked another guy what to do and he said "Behind the wall is the answer to all your problems." The guy sighed but was so horny he more...

A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Michigan, and a guy from Ohio are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a bottle and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska.
"With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The Michigan guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Michigan, so that no one can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Michigan.
The Buckeye asks, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Buckeye says, "Fill it up with water."

how many men does it take to wall paper a wall ??
two if there thinly sliced ha ha ha

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,' 'May I borrow a highlighter?''
2.' 'Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.''
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4.' 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.''
5.' 'Damn, this water is cold.''
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7.' 'Now how did that get there?''
8.' 'Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.''
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,''Whoa! Easy boy!!''
10.' ' Interesting.... more sinkers than floaters''
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,''Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
12.' 'C'mon Mr. Happy! more...

Wall street beggar to businessman: "You see sir, my Federal Grant is contingent on my ability to raise matching funds in the private sector."

Father John walked into a pub, and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father John walked up to Robert and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
Robert said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
Robert said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."