Wal-mart Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very mean, nasty, unattractive woman enters the Wal-Mart store with her two kids. The Wal-Mart greeter says hello to the kids and then hello to the lady who just grunts at the greeter in return. The greeter asks the lady, "Great kids! Are they twins?"
"No," replies the lady, "one is 9 the other is 7. Do they look like twins?"
"No," the greeter says, "I just couldn't believe you could get laid twice."

My computer broke down.

It crashed and burned!

And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...

And keep it off my mind.

It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.

The cashier in electronics was staring at me.

But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.

I drew a crowd as I began to cry.

I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!

Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.

The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"

Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.

Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!

Then he looked at me and said, more...

My husband and I fought constantly, Why I married him, I’ll never know. For all those miserable years I said, My hubby’s got to go! Tried poisoning cakes, stripping his brakes, Salting his pork chops with lime. Wiring his chair, igniting his hair, Even though arson’s a crime. But I failed at each plot ’til I suddenly thought Of a way that would set me free! I got rid of him for good and, know what? They couldn’t do a thing to me! I took him back to Wal-Mart! They’ll take anything back you know! They said they couldn’t recall selling him, But they must have if I said so. They just credited him to my Visa and said, “Ya’ll come back now, ‘ya hear? ” They were so nice, polite, pleasant and insistent, I’ll take back his mother next year! They’ll take anything back at Wal-Mart, Though it’s broken or rotten or sweet. And know what else? This time of year You don’t even need a receipt!

One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was athermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hotand cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it towork one day and the blondes boss who also is a blonde said whatis that thing? It is a thermous the first blonde said. What doesit do? Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. What do you havein it? I have coffee and a popcycle in it. Sent by Tom

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?