Vidi Jokes / Recent Jokes

cogito ergo doleo.
I think therefore I am depressed.

sona si Latine loqueris.
Honk if you speak Latin.

ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

illiud Latine dici non potest.
You can't say that in Latin.

radix lecti.
Couch potato.

Raptus regaliter
Royally screwed

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Insula Gilliganis
Gilligan's Island

Non possum credere me totum edisse.
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.

Noli habere bovis, vir.
Don't have a cow, man!

Puto vos esse more...

Vidi, vici, veni. I saw, I conquered, I came.

For more than 30 years, New York magazine has run a contest in which contestants take a well-known foreign language expression, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression. Here are some favorites.
Harlez-vous fran? s?
CAN YOU DRIVE A FRENCH MOTOCYCLE?
Cogito Eggo Sum.
I THINK; THEREFORE I AM A WAFFLE.
Rigor morris.
THE CAT IS DEAD.
Repondez-vous s’il vous plaid.
HONK IF YOU’RE SCOTTISH.
Que sera serf.
LIFE IS FEUDAL.
Posh mortem.
DEATH STYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.
Pro Bozo publico
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CLOWN.
Ap? Moe le deluge.
LARRY AND MOE GOT WET.
Haste cuisine.
FAST FRENCH FOOD.
Veni, vidi, vice.
I CAME, I SAW, I PARTIED.
Mazel ton.
TONS OF LUCK.
Aloha oy.
LOVE; GREETINGS; FAREWELL; FROM SUCH A PAIN YOU SHOULD NEVER KNOW.
Visa la France.
DON’T LEAVE YOUR CHATEAU WITHOUT IT.
L’? t, c’est moo.
I’M BOSSY more...