Verra Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Scotsman was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regains consciousness on the beach, he sees a beautiful unclad nymphet standing over him. She asks,' 'Would you like some food?'' The Scot hoarsely croaks,' 'Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!''

    She disappears into the woods and quickly comes back with a heaping helping of haggis. When he has choked it down, she asks,' 'Would you like something to drink?''' 'Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra hungry and I wad verra much like a drink!'' She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey.

    The Scotsman is beginning to think that he's in heaven when the unclad nymphet leans closer and says,' 'Would you like to play around?''' 'Och, lassie, don't tell me ye've got a golf course here too!''

    A Scotsman was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore on a small island.

    As he regains consciousness on the beach, he sees a beautiful unclad nymphet standing over him. She asks, "Would you like some food?"

    The Scot hoarsely croaks, "Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!"

    She disappears into the woods and quickly comes back with a heaping helping of haggis. When he has choked it down, she asks, "Would you like something to drink?"

    "Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra hungry and I wad verra much like a drink!"

    She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey. The Scotsman is beginning to think that he's in heaven when the unclad nymphet leans closer and says, "Would you like to play around?"

    "Och, lassie, don't tell me ye've got a golf course here too!"

    A shipwrecked Scotsman finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regained consciousness on the beach, he noticed a beautiful, unclad nymphet standing over him. "Would you like some food?" she asked.
    The Scot hoarsely croaks, "Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!"
    She disappeared into the woods and quickly came back with a heaping helping of haggis. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked.
    "Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra hungry and I wad verra much like a drink!"
    She disappeared into the woods again and returned Sometime later with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey. The Scotsman was beginning to think that he was in heaven! Then, the unclad nymphet leaned towards him and said "Would you like to play around?"
    "Och, lassie, don't tell me ye've got a golf course here too!"

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there for a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).

    "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

    "Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."

    "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?"

    "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here verra quietly, playing my bagpipes."

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