Verb Jokes / Recent Jokes

Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help...
Hah Tu Spek Suthun:
Bard - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
Jawjuh - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
Munts - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."
All - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
Far - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
Bahs - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far more...

Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help...Hah Tu Spek Suthun:BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."FAR - noun. A conflagration.Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."BAHS - noun. A supervisor.Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.Usage: "Gee, I hope that more...

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
Y'ALL -- noun. A more...

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the english language is the word "
fuck."
It is the one magical word which by just its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
"
Fuck"
falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck), or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), or a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). It should be obvious now that there are not many words as versatile as "
fuck."
Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:
Fraud: I got fucked by my insurance agent.
Dismay: Oh, fuck it!
Problem: I guess I'm fucked now.
Aggression: Fuck you.
Passive: Fuck me.
Confusion: What the fuck?
Difficulty: I can't understand more...

Southern slang, or "Hickphonics", has been approved as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone.
The following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English Dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage:- "Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage:- "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage:- "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage:- "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage:- "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage:- more...

(Hah Tu Spek Suthun)
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Va Tech Alumni." Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
EARL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts earl in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor. more...

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
Y'ALL - noun. A degree of more...