Venerable Jokes

After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate. "So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the director. "But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him." The great man is humbled, "God wants ME to direct a film?" "Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And we've arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare." The director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?" "Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever." "Wow!" says the Director, awe struck. "Your Production Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo Da Vinci d oing the sets, your musical score will more...

The venerable pastor of a large church was nearing retirement time, and at the request of the congregation, was interviewing applicants to be his replacement. At the end of each interview, the old pastor would lean forward, and in a low, confidential tone, ask, "Before I decide on you, may I ask if you partake of alcoholic beverages?"
One bright-eyed, young seminary graduate leaned forward toward the pastor and whispered to him, "Before I reply, may I ask if this is an inquiry or an invitation?"
Credit: Rev. Cleve Wilkie, The Times-Leader, Grifton, N.C., 7/27/94

The venerable pastor about to retire
The venerable pastor of a large church was nearing retirement time, and at the request of the congregation, was interviewing applicants to be his replacement. At the end of each interview, the old pastor would lean forward, and in a low, confidential tone, ask, "Before I decide on you, may I ask if you partake of alcoholic beverages?"
One bright-eyed, young seminary graduate leaned forward toward the pastor and whispered to him, "Before I reply, may I ask if this is an inquiry or an invitation?"