Valid Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rookie officer pulled over a guy who was speeding.
officer:May I see your license?
Man:It is not valid.It has been revoked 5 times.
officer:Well then can I please see the registration to the car?
Man:this is not my car.I carjacked it.
Officer:Well open up the glove box and let me see who it is regitered to.
Man:I can't open up the glove box, it has my loaded gun in there
About this time the officer is reaching for his gun.
Officer:Well what do you have a gun in the glove box for?
Man:Oh, I used to kill my wife who is stuffed in the trunk.
The officer goes over and calls for backup.The police chief comes over and says,
Chief:Let me get this straight, you are driving on a license that has been revoked 5 times?
Man: No, Here, take a look,
And sure enough it was valid
Chief:Okay, but you carjacked this car?
Man:No it is my car.Let me get the registration out of the glove box and show you.
Chief:But don't you have a loaded more...

A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden.
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden.
After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped.
With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!!" the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young feller, "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one. .."

I'm not so sure evolution is indeed a valid theory. I mean, thinkabout it - if it were, wouldn't all blondes have grown handlesby now?

MICROSOFT TESTER DIES TRAGICALLY AT HANDS OF "PAL"
REDMOND, Wa - The Microsoft Redmond Campus was rocked by tragedy today as Paul Fitzgerald, Test Engineer on the Windows NT Team, was brutally murdered in an apparently psychotic tirade by one of the "personalities" of Microsoft's latest operating system shell program, Bob. In the small hours of this morning, Java, the "friendly" coffee-drinking dinosaur, burst from the screen of Fitzgerald's computer, cutting a swath of destruction throughout the hapless worker's office and into the accompanying hallway.
The beast was quickly subdued by Microsoft Campus Security upon failing to produce a valid Microsoft keycard, avoiding what could otherwise have been a tragedy of much greater proportions. He is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation at the Washington Institute for Perfectly Valid Lifeforms Who in the Heat of the Moment Do Some Absolutely Naughty Things. Says Lars Opstad, chief spiritual more...