Ugly Jokes / Recent Jokes

you so ugly u have to trick or treat over the phone

your momma's like a toilet fat, ugly, smells like shit and gets used 24/7
yo moma's like a match always gets hot
your momma's so fat that when she got on the back of a bus it pulled its front wheels up
your momma's so hairy it looks like shes got bob marley in a headlock
your momma's like a bedsheet always gets laid
your moma's like a bowling ball gets fingered goes down the ale and comes back for more
your moma's so fat she makes the whales jealous
your momma's so ugly she makes michael jackson luk like jenifer lopez
your moma's so fat she makes the whales luk like a tic tac
your moma's seen more pricks than akiu puncture

Yo Mama is so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!

Three friends died and went to heaven. The first friend, Sarah, was the first one to go into the pearly gates and meet "God"."Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here" God said to her. "Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks" God said. "We love and cherish ducks here".So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OPPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him.Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and God tells her the same thing. "Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks". So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man.The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet and God and he tells her the same thing. "DON'T STEP on the more...

Ugly bloke walks into the bar with a big grin on his face "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well I live by the railway and on my way home last night I saw a women tied to the tracks, I cut her free and we shagged all night.
"Did you get a blow job?" the barman asks.
"No" he says, "Never found the head."

Yo Mama is so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Planet of the Apes!

Ugly: (adjective) A state of being in which you are constantly in.
Example: You