Trunk Jokes / Recent Jokes

What does an elephant keep up its trunk? A Yard 'n' half o' snot!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is more...

I went to a couple of car dealerships last week, and the first one I stopped at was Kia, well nothing caught my eye, but the price was right, then I went to a Ford dealer, again nothing really caught my eye, but I looked anyway, then I go to the Chevy dealer, well I see one that I like, the dealer does the once over with me, then he pops the trunk, disapointed, I looked at the dealer and said, "Well, Theres something missing" the dealer, puzzled asks "What"? I said "at the ford dealership I checked out, they had a new pair of shoes in the trunk of every car"! Smiling the dealer says "Thats so they can walk home"!

Attempt to take the order-takers order.("Hi, may I take your order?" ) before they get a chance to take yours. Order confusing items, i. e.,"Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and asmall medium fries, please". When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they'll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells. Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion. Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food. Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice. Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk. more...

Mother: Cover Yourself Properly Or You'll Get The Disease Called Elephathasis Disease.
Son: What Type Of Disease Is That?
Mother: This Is A Type Of Disease When Mosquito Bites Our Legs They Become Like Elephant's Legs.
Son(In The Morning, Crying)
Mother: Why Are You Crying?
Son: Mom, Yesterday Night One Mosquito Bit Me On My Nose. Now, It Will Become A Trunk!!!

This couple are out having a romantice meal for the first time together. Suddenly something from the man's side whips from under the table, steals a bread roll and dissappears back under the table. The guy doesn't blink an eyelid and the woman can't tell whether it really happened. She says nothing.
Well, damn, the same thing happens again. The woman checks the guy out and sure he makes out like nothing happened so she holds it in. A little time passes. The, hell, it happens a third time and the woman can no longer hold it in and she speaks up demanding to know what's going on.
The man explains. "Look, I was in an accident in India.. I lost my. .penis.. the surgeons transplanted a baby elephant's trunk in it's place and, well, I've grown to accept it and hell, It's embarrassing but that's it".
"No, no.." the woman says "that's absolutely incredible. And you mean the trunk keeps stealing the bread rolls like an elephant. WOW. Look that's so more...

Banta is pulled over by the same motorcycle cop who caught him earlier last month for not stopping at lights and beat him up. So Banta decides to go for a revenge this time.
Banta: Is there a problem Officer?
Cop: Sir, you were speeding.
Banta: Oh I see.
Cop: Can I see your licence please?
Banta: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Cop: Don't have one?
Banta: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Banta: I can't do that.
Cop: Why not?
Banta: I stole this car.
Cop: Stole it?
Banta: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Cop: You what?
Banta: She's in the trunk if you want to see.
The Cop looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! Banta steps out more...