Tricks Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    God created the donkey & said to him: " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. " The donkey answered: " I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog. " You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered: " Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: " You will be a monkey. " You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. " The monkey answered: " Sir, to live 20 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted more...

    A magician is on a cruise liner with his parrot. The parrot had seen all the magician's tricks a zillion times and had figured out, long ago, how the magician made everything in the act disappear.
    The magician had started to grow stale, not developing any new tricks, and the parrot was getting bored.
    One night, midway through the magician's performance, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone drowned, except the magician and his parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately collapsing from exhaustion.
    A short time later, the parrot flew to the magician and perched on the edge of the piece of wreckage and stared at the magician. And stared... and stared... and stared.
    For one whole day the magician was unconscious and all this time the parrot never took his eyes off him. Eventually, the magician began to stir. Looking up, he saw the parrot, still eyeing him intently, without even blinking.
    An hour went by and finally, more...

    When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul`s Day

    So there's this magician working on a small cruise ship. He's been doing his
    routines every night for a year or two now. The audiences appreciate him, and
    they change over often enough that he doesn't have to worry too much about
    new tricks. However, there's this parrot who sits in the back row and watches
    him night after night, year after year. Finally, the parrot figures out how
    the tricks work and starts giving it away for the audience. For example, when
    the magician makes a bouquet of flowers disappear, the parrot squawks "Behind
    his back! Behind his back!" Well, the magician get really annoyed at this,
    but he doesn't know what to do. The parrot belongs to the Captain, so he
    can't just kill it.
    One day, the ship springs a leak and sinks. The magician manages to swim to a
    plank of wood floating by and grabs on. The parrot is sitting on the other
    end of the plank. The just stare at each other and drift. They drift for more...

    A fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.

    At a kennel specializing in this particular need, the Jesus Saves Breeders, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home, all the while praising the Lord for delivering this animal to them.

    That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.

    The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.

    Well, they said, "Let's try this out."

    Once more they more...

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