Transfer Jokes / Recent Jokes
On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me: A database with a broken b-tree
(what the hell is a b-tree anyway?)
On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me: Two transceiver failures
(CRC errors? Collisions? What is going on?) And a database with a broken b-tree
(Rebuild WHAT? It's a 10GB database!)
On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me: Three French users
(who, of course, think they know everything) Two transceiver failures
(which are now spewing packets all over the net) And a database with a broken b-tree
(Backup? What backup?)
On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: Four calls for support
(playing the same Christmas song over and over) Three French users
(Why do they like to argue so much over trival things?) Two transceiver failures
(How the hell do I know which ones they are?) And a database with a broken b-tree
(Pointer error? What a pointer error?)
On the more...
1. You believe that 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm.
2. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
3. You believe that a good tape job will fix anything.
4. You have the bladder capacity of five people.
5. You can identify the "positive teeth to tattoo" ratio.
6. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
7. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
8. You believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.
9. You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
10. You have your weekends off planned for a year.
11. When a pt. presents with a list of 30 allergies to meds you automatically think they are a drug seeker or a pt. of Dr. Solotkin.
12. Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint.
13. You encourage an obnoxious pt. to sign out AMA just so you don't more...
there was this happly married couple and they were about to have a baby and they were in the dilvery room ready to have the baby when the doctor came in and asked the couple would like to try this new pain transfer that transfer some of the pain to the dad and the couple were happy to try it so the doctor hooks the dad up to the machine and turns it on to 10% and 5 min later the mom is haveing more contactions and the dad told the doctor that he wasn't feeling any pain at all so why don't you turn the machine up so the doctor turned it up to 20% and 5 min later the dad still didn't feel any pain so he told the doctor why don't you transfer all the pain she is feeling over to me so the doctor did and the mom gave birth to a healthy baby boy with no pain so after they go home with there new baby and they find the mail man dead on the porch.
AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...