Trains Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A. They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end
up playing with them.

An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends."Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the
policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians."The lone European in the group pondered all this for a second and responded, "I can't say about the police and the trains, but you're probably right about going out to eat. A restaurant in Hell would be one where the cooks are British and the waiters are French - and the customers are all Americans."

Q: Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
A: They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?"Andy says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains.""What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then Id dash down out of the signal box," said Andy, "and Id use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," Andy continues, "Id run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was engaged?" "Well in that case," persevered Andy, "Id rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that was vandalised?" "Oh well then Id run into the village and get my uncle Silas."This puzzles the inspector, more...

JOHNNY WAS DOWNSTAIRS PLAYING WITH HIS TRAINS,ROLLING THEM ALONG ON THE FLOOR. ALL OF A SUDDEN HE STOPS THE TRAIN AND SAYS: "WHO EVER WANTS TO GET ON, GET THE HELL ON. WHO EVER WANTS TO GET OFF, GET THE HELL OF."
THEN HIS MOTHER WALKS IN AND YELLED," JOHNNY, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SAY THOSE WORDS."
JOHNNY JUST KEPT ON PLAYING WITH HIS TRAINS AND STOPPED THEM AND SAID: "WHO EVER WANTS TO GET ON, GET THE HELL ON. WHO EVER WANTS TO GET OFF, GET THE HELL OFF."
HIS MOTHER OPENED THE DOOR AND YELLED: "JOHNNY, THE NEXT TIME YOU SAY THAT WORD YOU WILL HAVE TO GO TO YOUR ROOM FOR AN HOUR TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID WRONG."
JOHNNY DIDN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY, SO HE JUST KEPT PLAYING WITH HIS TRAINS.HE STOPPED THEM AND SAID: "WHO EVER WANTS TO GET ON, GET THE HELL ON.WHO EVER WANTS TO GET OFF,GET THE HELL OF."
JUST THEM JOHNNYS MOM STORMED INTO THE ROOM AND SCREAMED: " JOHNNY, GO TO YOUR ROOM more...