Tradition Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home.
    "Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers," the son said. "It was wonderful and enlightening, however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity."
    "Oi vey," replied the father, "what have I done." So in the tradition of the patriarchs he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend, "I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian."
    So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi, "I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is more...

    October 28, 1958 - Angleo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the name John XXIII.
    TRADITION
    Every time a new pope is elected, there are a lot of rituals and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with tradition. Well, there's one tradition that very few people know about.
    Shortly after the new pope is enthroned, the chief rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the pope's presence, whereupon he presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.
    The pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.
    The chief rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next pope is elected. John XXIII was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the chief rabbi was shown into his presence, he more...

    An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please.
    So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
    The bartender said to him, "I more...

    During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema
    prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting.
    The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and
    the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up... The
    rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to
    do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98 year old
    man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped
    the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition
    was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction
    of the
    congregation.
    The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the
    tradition to stand during this prayer?
    The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."
    The one whose followers sat said, "Then the tradition is to sit more...

    You insist that your boss call you "Rowan Starchild" because
    otherwise you'd sue for religious harrassment. (Score double for this
    if you don't let that patronizing bastard call you "Mr. or
    Ms. Starchild.")
    You've ever confused the Prime Directive with the Wiccan Rede.
    You've ever cast a spell with twenty-sided dice.
    You said it was bigotry when they didn't let you do that
    ritual in front of city hall. It had nothing to do with the skyclad
    bit.
    You picketed The Craft and Hocus Pocus, but thought that the
    losers who picketed The Last Temptation of Christ needed to get lives.
    You've ever publicly claimed to be an elf, alien, vampire,
    faerie, or demigod, and been genuinely surprised when not everyone
    took you seriously.
    You've ever publically claimed to be the reincarnation of
    Gardner, Merlin, Aleister Crowley, King Arthur, Cleopatra, Morgana Le
    Fay, or Jim Henson, and been genuinely surprised when not more...

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