Track Jokes / Recent Jokes

One evening Premadasa is jogging at the Independannce Square Sports Grounds. He sees this beaytiful
whore at the bus stop near the other end og the jogging track and approaches her.
"How much?" asks Premadasa.
"Hundred and fifty ruppees." comes the reply.
"Damn too much, Ten ruppees?" suggests Prem.
"Hundred and Fifty" the lady won't budge. So Prem goes away jogging.
The next evening he sees the same woman at the bus stop.
"How much?" asks Prem thinking that he will get a better deal today.
"Hundred and fifty ruppees." comes the reply.
"No no, too much, Ten ruppees?" suggests Prem.
"Hundred and Fifty" the lady again won't budge. So Prem goes away jogging.
The third evening Hema joins Prem for a jog. Both are jogging along the track and Prem sees the lady
again. This time Prem ignores her (because of the obvious reason that Hema is with him) and more...

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

Your momma so ugly when she went to the horse track people started placing bets on her.

There was this Hawaiian and fillipino man that wanted to learn how to hunt. So they met this indian man, the indian man took them to a forest and pitched a camp.
The next day they woke up the indian man came back with a huge bear over his shoulder. So the hawaiian and fillipino told the indian man how did you catch that bear the indian said when you go into the forest you look for the track and keep following it and there you will find what you are hunting for, so the hawaiian said my turn to go.
When he went into the forest he came back after two hours with a huge boar. so the fillipino man ask the Hawiian how you caught that Boar he said I did what the Indian said. So the next morning the fillipino got up and said it 's my turn so he went and he saw the biggest track ever so he followed it, after two hours the fillipino never came back then all of a sudden they here the fillopino coming through the bushes all cut up brusded up they asked him what happend he said I did what more...

Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion. Troopers from the Arizona Highway Patrol got on to this gallant if not brainless form of ballistic research after motorists reported some mysterious scorched and blackened scars on a stretch of deserted highway. The more officers found, the stranger the case got. Here is what they "pieced" together: JATO units are basically huge canisters of solid rocket fuel used to achieve "Jet Assisted Take Off", typically lifting big transport planes into the air from short, rough ground runways, or shooting overloaded planes from the decks of aircraft carriers. They were not, repeat NOT, designed to augment the inherent boost factor of more...

Ed was applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
When they met, the inspector decided to give Ed a pop quiz. "What would you do if you realized that two trains were headed towards each other on the same track?" the inspector asked.
"I would switch one of the trains to another track," answered Ed.
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then, I would run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there," a confident Ed replied.
"What if that lever had been struck by lightning?" the inspector challenged.
"In that case," Ed continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?" the inspector asked.
"Well, then I would run to the street level and use the public phone near the station," Ed argued.
"What if it had been more...

Did you hear about the UCLA track star who won a gold medal? He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed.