Toole Jokes

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven? "The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven? " "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? " O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven? "O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
On his Deathbed! "Father Murphy was ministering to a man on his deathbed.
"Renounce Satan!" yelled Father Sullivan.
"No!," said the dying man.
"I say, renounce more...

O'Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to read. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O'Toole kept sending him back up. At 10 o'clock the doorbell rang. It was the next door neighbor, Mrs. O'Brien. She asked if her son was there and O'Toole said no. Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted. "I'm here Mom, but he won't let me go home."

O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent. "Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest. "I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?" O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then leave this den of Satan," said the priest, as he walked up to O'Toole. "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"No, I don't Father," O'Toole replied.

The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."