Toaster Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde walks into an electronics store and asks the guy at the counter if she could buy this toaster, pointing to it. The guy sais No, because your blonde. So she comes back the next day after changing her hair colour. She asks if she cane buy a taster, pointing to it. The guy sais No, because your blonde. She does the same thing the next day and gets the same reply, so she asks the guy How can you tell im blonde? The guy sais Thats not a toaster, its a microwave!

If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters. If Microsoft made toasters...
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that let's you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters. If Apple made toasters...
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. The toast would make a more...

A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.

The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on' special'.

Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?"

She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!" And doing so draws an even more HUGE crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying more...

If Microsoft made toasters...Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buya toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'dstill have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), drawenough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of thespace in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toasterthat let's you control how light or dark you want your toastto be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances tofind out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good breadonly works with their toasters.

One day a very hard to frustrate young man walked into a fast food restraunt feeling slightly hungry....
Restraunt: Hello can I help you?
Man: Yes all I need is some toast.
Restraunt: Im sorry were all out of toast
Man: Well do you have bread?
R: Yes.
M: do you have as toaster?
R yes
M: then put the bread in the toaster
R that would be toast were out of toast
M (sigh) then Ill have pancakes
R We only have waffle mix...
to be continued...
E.E.C. 10yrs