Through Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dashing Through The Mall
(sung to Dashing Through The Snow)
Dashing through the mall. ..
On a late December day,
Through the $tores we go
Charging all the way...
Ching. .. Ching. .. Ching. ..
Bell$ on register$ ring
Making checkbook$ light,
Oh, what fun it is to buy up
Everything in $ight!
Ching. .. Ching. .. Ching. ..
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
The kids all yell and scream
To us it sounds like anarchy
But to them it's harmony-HEY!
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
The children tipped the tree
Antique ornaments smashed to bits
The kids each say "not me"
Dad goes to work each day
Engineering things for flight
But his real job is at home
Refereeing little fights
Mom drives the kids around
In an ancient Caravan
Karate, swimming, children's choir
Espresso in her hand-HEY!
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Our wish to you is that more...
Two mice are making their way through a whore-house when one of them stops to admire a woman's naked bottom.
" "Nice, huh?"
"So-so," says the other. "Me? I'm a titmouse."
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard.
As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through.
This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.
She was getting nervous, and decided to pay very close attention.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and more...
Once An American, A Chinese And Santa Were Passing Through The Thar Desert In A Same Car. But In The Middle Of The Desert, Their Car Breaks Down. They Think Of Walking Through The Desert And Leave The Car Behind. American: I Will Take The Water Bottle. When I Get Thirsty, I Will Drink Water. Chinese: I Will Take The Seat. When I Get Tired, I Will Sit On It. Santa: I Will Take The Door Of The Car. When It Is Too Hot I Will Open The Window!!!
Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who took them to a small room with another room adjacent to it.
They brought the first guy’s wife into the room and left her there. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the first man saying, “Go kill your wife of five years. ” The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room. He came back out one minute later and said, “I can’t do it. ” The instructor replied, “Then you fail out, so get out. ”
The second candidate’s wife was brought to the room. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the second man and said, “Go kill your wife of ten years. ” The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room, but returned three minutes later and said, “I can’t do it. ” The instructor replied, “Then you fail out - more...
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?" "No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered. The wife asked, "Are you a genie?" "Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will more...