Tae Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years.
One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.
Immediately, Jock says “Open it up and we’ll have a dram. ”
“Naw, ah’m goin’ tae save it for a special occasion. ”
Birthdays came and went, his anniversaries came and went, but Jock could never get Angus to open the bottle.
Finally Angus had a heart attack, and was laying on his deathbed.
He motioned for his old friend to come closer.
“Jock, remember that rare bottle of Scotch I won? ”
“Aye, ah certainly do, Angus! ”
“Weell, ah like ye tae do me a favor Jock, my dear friend. ”
“Aye, anything ye ask Angus. ”
“When ah’m dead, wid ye take that bottle an’ open it up–”
“Aye, Angus, then what? ”
“Wid ye pour it over ma grave? ”
“Pour it over yer grave? My god Angus. It’s 40 year old Scotch! But I’ll do it for ye. more...

Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years. One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.
Immediately, Jock says "Open it up and we'll have a dram."
"Naw, ah'm goin' tae save it for a special occasion."
Birthdays came and went, his anniversaries came and went, but Jock could never get Angus to open the bottle.
Finally Angus had a heart attack, and was laying on his deathbed. He motioned for his old friend to come closer. "Jock, remember that rare bottle of Scotch I won?"
"Aye, ah certainly do, Angus!"
"Weell, ah like ye tae do me a favor Jock, my dear friend."
"Aye, anything ye ask Angus."
"When ah'm dead, wid ye take that bottle an' open it up--"
"Aye, Angus, then what?"
"Wid ye pour it over ma grave?"
"Pour it over yer grave? My god Angus. It's 40 year old Scotch! But I'll do it more...

A woman is looking to re-enter the work force, now that her kids are all grown up. But before applying anywhere she goes tae the doctors' fae a wee physical before takin' oan a new joab. When she returns her hubby notices she's just bustin' wi' pride and all chuffed.
So he says; "What's all this about?"
She says, "I've just been tae the doctors' and he said I've got the body of a twenty year old, and the heart of a 16 year old".
To which her hubby fires back..."What about your 50 year old ass?"
"Your name never came up." She replies!