Swore Jokes

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    Blonde joke

    Hot 2 years ago

    There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
    They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time.
    First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
    Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her.
    They didn't like people more...

    A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
    "What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.
    "I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
    "Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man.
    "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
    "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man.
    "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and more...

    This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language.
    The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's when you swore."
    The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit more...

    A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
    "What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.
    "I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
    "Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man.
    "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
    "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man.
    "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons more...

    There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
    They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare African tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the head one at a time.
    First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called, "1-2-3", but before they could shoot she yelled, "TORNADO!", and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
    Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled, "1-2-3", but before they could shoot she screeched, "FLOOD!", and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go more...

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