Superior Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Jesuit novices both wanted a cigarette while they prayed. They decided to ask their superior for permission. The first asked but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking and praying. "Why did the superior allow you to smoke and not me?" he asked. His friend replied, "Because you asked if you could smoke while you prayed, and I asked if I could pray while I smoked!"

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says tothe other, "I hearthat the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in oil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their dogs. The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

A group of sister from a local convent were out for their Sunday bike ride through the suburbs. They were quite a site, seven in a row on one of those seven seater tandem bikes, headed, of course by mother superior.

They went over a speed bump. In unison, they all let out an excited "OOOOOOOOO!' The mother superior turned around and looked at them sternly. She admonished the nuns, "Sisters, you must quiet down".

They went over another bump, "OOOOOOO" The mother superior turned around and warned "Sisters, please!' Your making a spectacle out of us."

And another bump, "OOOOOO" The mother superior turned around and gruffly said, "Sisters, this is your last warning. One more OOOOOO out of any of you and we are going to have to put the seats back on."

Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car"Hundreds of people and tens of millions of dollars go into building an F1 car, but a normal car is a far superior vehicle. You wonder what goes through those guys' minds when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL WRONG!!!!" No door... I mean, people have to climb in. Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it. Pffft! No roof... The people who drive these things are left open to the elements. Like, even convertible cars have something you can pull over your head. No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD player... how boring it must be to drive in those things for close to two hours without having anything to listen to. No heating... Being left open to the elements, the drivers' toes must become very cold after a while. No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over themselves. What with them steering with one hand and trying to drink with the other. No ashtrays and electric more...

The 98 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior`s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Don`t sell that cow.

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in."
The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?

Two nuns and a mother superior had a fatal accident and died and all three arrived at Heaven's door,
Saint Peter was at the entrance to greet the three nuns and mother superior introduced herself and the other two to saint Peter.
Saint Peter said,"well ladies we have a system here, you'll have to answer a question each before I can let you in"
Nuns and mother superior agreed.
Saint Peter asked the 1st nun "Who was the first man on earth?"
Nun said "adam",
saint Peter said, "You are in"
asked the 2nd nun "Who was the 1st woman on earth?"
nun said,"Eve".
St. Peter said," you are in".
Mother superior came forward, St Peter said "well you were holding a higher post and I will have to ask you a hard question"
"When Eve saw adam standing bollock nacked in front of Eve what did she tell him?"

Mother superior wanted to express the more...