Sunset Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One dark night in hell, the Devil, bent upon his ultimate revenge, determined to become a computer programmer.
    Secretly he pored over main pages, Microsoft press releases, and hex dumps of the renowned SATAN program, until, satisfied that he was master of the unclean craft, he began to work his mischief.
    Lounging near the back gate to heaven, he remarked to Jesus that there were some things the Devil could do better than God. Perl programming, for instance.
    The Savior, knowing something was afoot, but unwilling to let the slight go unchallenged, suggested a programming contest to last from sunrise to sunset, to see who could solve the halting problem in the fewest lines of Perl code, with God Almighty as the judge.
    Sparks flew from the keyboard, and a sublime glow emanated from the monitor of the Prince of Darkness and the Prince of Peace, respectively, until five minutes before sunset, when a bolt of lightning flashed and the computers went dead.
    A few minutes more...

    Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
    He yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
    The boy yells back, "Roll of chicken wire."
    The old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"
    The boy says, "Catch some chickens."
    The old man yells, "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
    The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
    That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
    At the same time the next morning, the old man is out watching the sunrise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
    The old man yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
    The boy yells back, "Roll of duck tape."
    The old man says, "What you gonna more...

    This is my first post to HUMOR mailing list. Hope you enjoy
    A cowboy was captured by some Indians, and, upon his capture, the chief of the tribe explained the rules: "You have 3 days before you are killed. Each day you get one wish, but, on the third day you will die."
    After this proclamation of promise, the chief asks the cowboy his first desire, but the cowboy says he must talk to his horse first. The chief grants the request, and the cowboy whispers into the horse's ear and sends him galloping off.
    At sunset, the trusty steed returns with a voluptuous, naked brunette. The cowboy helps the woman from the horse's back, takes her into his wigwam and makes love to her all night long.
    On the second day, the chief says to the cowboy, "This is second day. What is second wish?" The cowboy, once again, requests a conference with his horse, and, once again, the horse rides off from the Indian camp. At sunset, the animal returns with a voluptuous, naked more...

    Three men died and were taken by God to the top of a cliff. God said to them that since they had been such great outstanding citizens of earth that they would be given one chance to become anything that they desired.

    The first man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an eagle." Instantly he was changed into an eagle and soared off into the sunset.

    The second man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an owl." Instantly he was changed into an owl and soared off into the sunset.

    The third man ran towards the edge of the cliff, tripped on a rock, and shouted, "Oh shit. .."

    An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

    "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

    "Roll of chicken wire."

    "What you gonna do with that?"

    "Gonna catch some chickens."

    "You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"

    The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

    The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

    "Roll of duct tape."

    "What you gonna do with that?"

    "Gonna catch me some ducks."

    "You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct more...

  • Recent Activity