Structural Jokes / Recent Jokes

Question:
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:
Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
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Signs Your Car Might Be A Lemon

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.

Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist

Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.

"Jaws of Life" in trunk.

The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where more...

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.

Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist

Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.

"Jaws of Life" in trunk.

The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where do you want to go more...

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca." Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan. Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box. Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty. Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace. Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity. Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity. Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags. "Jaws of Life" in trunk. The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand. When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where do you want to go today?" You realize too late that it *is* your father's Oldsmobile. Ralph Nader's home phone number written on dashboard. The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue more...