Street Jokes / Recent Jokes

Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $37.00.The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living day lights out of him, and throws him out into the street.The more...

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a
genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will
grant you one wish, anything that you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he
gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a tast and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly."
She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another
glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to
drink, that it is vodka. Natasha more...

Walking down the street one day, a woman heard a voice yell,' stop! If you take one more step, you will be killed. The woman stopped and seconds later a brick fell and landed in her path.
A minute later or two, she was ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed' halt! Don`t cross the street now'. An out-of-control beer truck soon screeched around the corner and didn't even slowdown as it ran the red light. Shaken, the woman asked out loud, "who are you?"
' I am your guardian angel' replied the voice.' And I imagine you have some questions for me"
' You bet I do', the woman said.' Where were you on my wedding day?'

While W.C. Fields was walking down the street a man came up to him and said, "you're drunk." W.C. Fields replied "you're crazy, I'll be sober tomorrow, but you'll be crazy the rest of your life!"

Three elderly women, recently transplanted from the Northeast to a Florida retirement community, were getting acquainted at poolside. Inevitably, theirconversation turned to children. "My son is the most successful doctor on Park Avenue," announced one.
Not to be outdone, the second remarked, "My son is the most successful lawyer on Wall Street."
The third remained conspicuously silent. Sensing easier game, the first matron inquired, "And you, dear, do you have a son?"
"And is he a professional?" demanded the second.
"Well, not exactly," answered the third. "Actually, he's a plumber. And notonly that, he's gay."
Beaming, one of the poor woman's interrogators offered consolation: "Ah, he's not doing so well."
This time it was the third woman who smiled. "He's not doing too badly," she explained.
"He goes out with the most successful doctor on Park Avenue and the most more...

Dumb Indiana laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.

Indiana Crazy Law Looking for more dumb laws? Check out!
One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.

Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.

State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.

Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.

A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.

It is illegal to sell cars on more...

I was once told that I am a physically intimidating person, which is perhaps both the strangest thing I’ve ever heard (little me, intimidating?) and the coolest thing I’ve ever heard (a mere glance will convey the message “Outta my way, sucka, or your head will be pulp” – boy, what power!).

There might be some truth in that. I found that out recently on a New York City street corner while waiting for friends to show up for dinner. While standing around, looking high and low for my party to arrive, a guy came walking down the dark street and into the glow of the streetlight illuminating my spot on the sidewalk. There was something about this guy that looked very familiar, but I couldn’t place it immediately – and it was weird, because I knew the face but it didn’t seem to fit the guy’s body.

Then I realized who it was: Edward Burns, the actor/filmmaker. And when I identified him to myself, I had a double reaction. First, I was appalled to finally more...