Startling Jokes

In a startling announcement, Pat Robertson reveals that a careful
reading of the Book of Revelation indicates that the appointed day for
the "rapture" has already come and gone.
"Apparently," said a spokesman, "God decided not to take anyone
except Madelyn Murray O'Hair."

EUREKA! The Discovery that political conservatism is determined by the genes opens a window on a brighter tomorrow. (After all, who would actually choose to be Republican?) By Daniel Mendelsohn

The startling discovery that affiliation with the Republican Party is genetically determined, announced by scientists in the current issue of the journal Nurture, threatens to overshadow the announcement by scientists that there might be a gene for homosexuality in men.

Reports of the gene that codes for political conservatism, discovered after a long study of quintuplets in Orange County, Calif., has sent shock waves through the medical, political and golfing communities.

Psychologists and psychoanalysts have long believed that Republicans' unnatural and frequently unconstitutional tendencies result from unhealthy family life -- a remarkable high percentage of Republicans had authoritarian, domineering fathers and emotionally distant mothers who didn't teach more...