Speak Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina." What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered, "He said' Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me!'"
A person who can speak many languages is not necessarily more valuable than a person who can listen in one.
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish.Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina."What did he say?" asked the Ranger.The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me!'"
Geekonics
By John Woestendiek
Philadelphia Inquirer
Wed., January 8, 1997
NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of children who have grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board in San Jose, Calif., has officially designated computer English, or "Geekonics", as a second language.
The historic vote on Geekonics - a combination of the word "geek" and the word "phonics" - came just weeks after the Oakland school board recognized black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct language.
"This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy" Macintosh, chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school board became the first in the nation to recognize Geekonics.
"No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close to smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to process the more...
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
NEW LANGUAGES BEING TAUGHT IN AMERICAAfro-American Speak -- Ebonics (or We-Beonics)Irish-American Speak -- LeprechaunicsNative-American Speak -- KimosabicsItalo-American Speak -- Spumonics (or Rigatonics)Chinese-American Speak -- Won-tonicsJapanese-American Speak -- Mama-san-icsPolish-American Speak -- KielbasanicsJewish-American Speak -- ZionicsRussian-American Speak -- RasputonicsSpanish-American Speak -- Flan-icsScottish-American Speak -- Tartan-icsEskimo-American Speak -- HarpoonicsGerman-American Speak -- Autobaunics (or Teutonics)Candain-American Speak -- EH? onicsFlorida Democratic Voters Speak -- Moronics