Soup Jokes / Recent Jokes

Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.Patron: No, it's still there.Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.Patron: Well, what is more...

Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support waiter.Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.Patron: No, it's still there.Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem.How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.Patron: Well, more...

Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.

Now that he has left office, the REAL story can finally be told.
Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef.
The meal went okay but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse until finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to use the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Soup!
Soup who?
Superman!

Ricky Lee Patterson and his mother, Carla Patterson, claimed they found the rodent during a Mother's Day meal at a Newport News Cracker Barrel in 2004.

Prosecutors charged the Pattersons with conspiracy to commit extortion after they demanded $500,000 from the restaurant.
An examination of the mouse found that it had died of a fractured skull, had no soup in its lungs and had not been cooked. Prosecutors said the findings suggested the rodent had been dropped into the customer's soup after it had died.
In the mother and son's honor, all Virgina jails will be serving mouse soup for the month of October. Mmm Mmm Good!

Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water. They build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it!
He says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup!"