Smaller Jokes / Recent Jokes
A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo.After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's. Explain to the tux shop what you're up to. Pick up the groom's fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed.The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don't reveal that you know anything as long as possible.
There once was a set of twin alligators that grew up in the same bayou. One, however, was much larger and stronger than the other.
One day the twins were sitting there talking, and trying to figure out why one was so much bigger - since they were the same age, had the same genes, and grew up in the same place. The bigger alligator asked his smaller brother where he had been feeding. The smaller said, "down in that parking lot at the end of the bayou, why?". The bigger said, "well, thats where I feed too, what's your technique?"
The smaller then looked at him and said "well, I go over to one of those lawyers cars, and hide up under it, when he comes out, I grab him, shake the shit out of him, and then eat him."
The larger then exclaimed, "that's it! by the time you shake the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but the briefcase!"
Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink.
Woman walks into a bar. . . totally nude and asks the barkeep if he can serve her a drink.
He looks her up and down and says, “Well sure, but it doesn’t appear by the your appearance that you’ll be able to pay for it. ”
The woman throws one leg up on a bar stool and shows what she’s got, “Will this do? ” she asks.
The barkeep takes a look and responds, “Ya got anything smaller? ”