Situated Jokes

T-shirt sighting - worn by woman, caption situated exactly over her left breast - "I'm a fermata - hold me."

This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at
the UPSC(IAS)Examinations. candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow
You will forget your English by the time you finish
reading this.
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the
milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such
attachment ]
What can it do? Various butter, cream, curd, why
and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.
His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.Also his other motion.. [from the backyard] is much
useful to trees, plants as well as for making more...

If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes How many can you solve? (Answers below)1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologicprotuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement ofa sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact sizeof which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of hisanatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the teamperformed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction takenby the first member. 2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: oneresearcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unableto consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocalarrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viandsunder consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container ofthe viands devoid of contents. 3. A young male human was more...

HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is
got child.] He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got
four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4
taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such
attachment]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species. Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees,
plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ], in hand, and
drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are
situated in the inside of the mouth. more...

80
The first Secretary General of the UNO was Trygve Lie
81
The sculptor of the statue of Liberty was Federick Auguste Bartholdi
82
The port of Banku is situated in Azerbaijan
83
John F.Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harry Oswald
84
The largest river in France is Loire
85
The Queen of England who married her brother-in-law was
Catherine of Aragon
86
The first negro to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize was
Ralph Johnson Bunche
87
The first British University to admit women for degree courses was London University
88
The principal export of Jamaica is sugar
89
New York is popularly known as the City of Skyscrapers
90
Madagascar is popularly known as the Island of Cloves
91
The country known as the Land of White Elephant is Thailand
92
The country known as the Land of Morning Calm is Korea
93
The country known as the Land of Thunderbolts is Bhutan
94
The highest more...