Sinner Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say 3 Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."This time the priest asks, "Who is "Fannie Green?" "A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. "Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green more...

A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."The priest tells the sinner "You are forgiven. Go out and say 3 Hail Marys."Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."This time the priest asks, "Who is Fannie Green?""A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well, says the priest. Go and say 10 Hail Mary's. The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down
in front of the altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman more...

Prayer books contain nothing but show tunes.
In church, they pass a "specimen plate."
Their main prophet is scamming on your girlfriend.
You must kneel and pray five times a day facing Redmond, Washington.
The *only* food that you're allowed to eat is pork.
"The first reading is from the Book of Newt..."
Your position in the afterlife depends on how many cleaning products you sell here on earth.
Larry King's birthday is the High Holy Day for the year.
Your new messiah claims to have fed the multitudes with a bucket of chicken, some fries, and a Big Gulp.
Even though they taste heavenly, you're pretty sure Malomars are not a sacrament.
All the commandments begin, "You might be a sinner if..."
"Sinner of the Week" eligible for valuable prizes.
Constant fear that the elders will discover the laptop you've got squirreled away in the buggy shed.
Frequency of circumcision increased from once in a more...

"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month".

The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "My son, who is "Nookie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's and stop your sinning."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly, a gorgeous, tall woman enters. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest.

Her dress is green and very short, with more...

Father Larry is in the confession booth one day when he has to go to the bathroom really bad. He Calls over to the janitor. Jim, the janitor, comes over and Father Larry explains that he has to go to the bathroom and wants Jim to take over in the confession booth for him. Jim explains that he is not even catholic and does not think it would be appropriate for him to take over, Father Larry insist and explains to Jim that if somebody enters the booth to just look up the punishment in the book on the table. Jim agrees and sits down in the booth.
The first sinner comes in and says 'Father I have sinned, I have cursed at my mother' Jim thumbs through the book and finds 'cursing at mother'. Jim reads the note and tells the sinner to say two hail Mary's and they are forgiven.
A minute later another sinner comes into the booth and says 'Father I have sinned, I cheated on my test'. Once again Jim looks it up in the book and tells the sinner to say three "our Father's" and more...