Serious Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a room with one scientist and one blonde. The scientist was very playful and loved to play games. The blonde was very serious and hated life and was very serious. She also hated games. The scientist wanted to play a game. "
Do you want to play a game?"
the scientist asked the blonde. "
Okay. I guess,"
the blonde said in a bored voice. "
Here are the rules,"
said the scientist,"
I will ask you a question. If you answer it correctly, I will give you $
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999."
That made the blonde want to play. The scientist said,"
Here is your question.What is the hypothosis of a pickle?"
The blonde didn't know only one word of it. She asked what the word meant. "
What does the word a mean?"
she asked.

When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how homophobic Mr. Osama Bin Laden is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that words fail me in describing my pure distaste for Osama's sermons and brainless practices. In the text that follows, when I quote from Osama, I will use the word "excrement" in place of another word which is now apparently permitted in general circulation publications, and which I have edited out. Some will say I exaggerate, but, actually, I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that he says he's going to shower bloodthirsty traitors with undeserved praise quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "ultracentrifugation". Is he out of his mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that he dreams of a time when he'll be free to brand me as more...

You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty.

A Cautionary Tale
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then - just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Hayek, Hazlett and Socrates. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real more...

Hello, my name is _____ _______ and I have a thinking problem.
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "I like more...

Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.
This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.
At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows:
Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.
Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.
Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.
Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.
Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.
Inspector: more...

Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows:Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.Inspector: Oh! no. Something more more...