Seldom Jokes / Recent Jokes

What we anticipate seldom occurs. What we least expect generally happens.

It is seldom easy to do what's right or right to do what's easy.

Leroy was a 17 year old ninth grader. Leroy got this homework assignment
in his Ebonics class. All he had to do was use each of the following words
in a sentence. The following is how he completed the assignment.
Rectum: I had two Caddilacs but my ol lady rectum.
Hotel: I gave my woman da crabs and da hotel evabody.
Odyssey: I told my bro, man, you odyssey da tits on da hoe.
Stain: My muda-in-law axed me if I'm stain for dinna agin.
Seldom: My cousin give me tickets to da Warriors game so I seldom.
Penis: I went to da docta an he hanned me a cup and said penis.
Foreclose: If I pay alimony dis munf, I'd have no muny foreclose.
Undermine: Dare's a fine lookin hoe livin in da partmunt undermine.
Disappointment: My parole offcer tel me if I miss disappointment he
gonna kill me
Tripoli: I was gonne buy my ol lady a bra but I coudnt find no
Tripoli
Income: I just got in bed wit dis hoe and income my wife
Honor: At da rape trial more...

Jhonny is 18 and in the 8th grade. Homework is hard for him.
One day, Jhonny got an easy homework assignment that required
him to put each of the following vocabulary words in a
sentence. Here's what he wrote, Ebonic style.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the' hotel' everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Caddilacs, but my ol'lady' rectum' both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol'me if I mess' disappontment'
they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay ailmoney this month, I'll have no money
' foreclose'
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody
give that' cata omb.'
6. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks
fake. He said No' israel.'
7. UNDERMINE - There's fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment
' undermine.'
8. TRIPOLI - I was gonna my ol'lady a bra, but I couldn't find' tripoli.'
9. STAIN - My mother-in-law more...

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.

A: Why did the chewing-gum cross the road?
B: Because it was stuck to the chickens foot.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the possum it could be done.

Q: Why do people call their own language their mother tongue?
A: Because their fathers seldom get a chance to use it.

NOTE: For this to be funny, students need to understand that in many cultures women have the image of speaking so much that their husbands seldom have a chance to say anything.

Q: A big moron and a little moron are walking across a bridge when the big moron falls off. Why didn't the little moron fall off?
A: He was a little more on.

Q: Name one eight letter word that has kst in the middle, in the beginning, and at the end.
A: "Inkstand", "in" is at the beginning, "kst" is in the middle, and "and" is at the end.

Q: When does a dialect become a language?
A: When its more...

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly
disillusioned with the public school system. One day, Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following vocabulary words in a sentence. Here's what he wrote.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORCLOSE.
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.
6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.
7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.
8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment UNDERMINE.
9. TRIPOLI - I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I more...