Seeing-eye Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, which he offers to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

Note to the civilized world: They don't let dogs into bars in the US.

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Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll with their dogs... One had a Doberman pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead."

They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher? "

The man said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very more...

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "You can`t bring that dog in here!"

The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."

"Oh man, " the bartender says, "I`m sorry, here, the first one`s on me."

The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua.
The first guys sees him, stops him and says

"You can`t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it`s a seeing-eye dog."

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can`t bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bartender says, "No, I don`t think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs."

The man pauses for more...

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guywith a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinschersays to the guy with a Chihuahua, 'Let's go over tothat restaurant and get something to eat.' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'We can't go in there.We've got dogs with us.' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'Just follow my lead.' They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the DobermanPinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walkin. A guy at the door says, 'Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'You don't understand.This is my seeing-eye dog.' The guy at the door says, 'A Doberman Pinscher?' He says, 'Yes, they're using them now, they're very good.' The guy at the door says, 'Come on in.' The guy with the Chihuahua figures, 'What the hell,' so he putson a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, 'Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You don't understand. This ismy more...

Two men who are out walking their dogs meet on a street corner. One says to the other, "Boy it sure is hot today. I'd really like to go into the bar and get a beer, but the sign on the front door says, "No Pets Allowed," and I can't leave Fido alone on the street." The other man replies, "No problem, just stand by the door and watch me, and you'll be having that beer real soon!" The second man reaches into his pocket and puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, and then walks into the bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey buddy, you can't bring that dog in here!" The man says, "But I'm blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog!" The bartender says, "Oh, okay then." The man drinks his beer and leaves. The first man then puts on dark sunglasses and goes into the bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey buddy, you can't bring that dog in here!" The man says, "But I'm blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog!" The more...

Two men who are out walking their dogs meet on a street corner. One says to the other, "Boy it sure is hot today. Id really like to go into the bar and get a beer, but the sign on the front door says, "No Pets Allowed," and I cant leave Fido alone on the street." The other man replies, "No problem, just stand by the door and watch me, and youll be having that beer real soon!" The second man reaches into his pocket and puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, and then walks into the bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey buddy, you cant bring that dog in here!" The man says, "But Im blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog!" The bartender says, "Oh, okay then." The man drinks his beer and leaves. The first man then puts on dark sunglasses and goes into the bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey buddy, you cant bring that dog in here!" The man says, "But Im blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog!" The bartender more...

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