Santy Jokes / Recent Jokes

' Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailerNot a creature was stirrin'' Cept a redneck named Taylor. His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle, And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle. His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul stench in the air. That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys. There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11; Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7. John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3: The twins were both girls So they let them be. They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt, Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk. They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall. There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all. Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll! The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw." Maw was expecting And needed her sleep, So out they crept out the door without making a peep. They all looked around, and then they all spit. The young'uns asked Bubba, more...

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer

Not a creature was stirrin'' Cept a redneck named Taylor.

His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,

And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle.

His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,

And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.

That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys.

There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;

Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.

John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3:

The twins were both girls So they let them be.

They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,

Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.

They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.

There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.

Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll!

The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer more...

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin'' Cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.

That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;
Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3:
The twins were both girls So they let them be.

They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.

Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll!
The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw."
Maw was expecting And needed her sleep,
So out they crept out the more...

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailerNot a creature was stirrin' 'Cept a redneck named Taylor.His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle, And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle.His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys.There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3:The twins were both girls So they let them be.They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt, Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll! The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw."Maw was expecting And needed her sleep, So out they crept out the door without making a peep.They all looked around, and then they all spit.The young'uns asked Bubba, "Paw, what is more...

'Twas just before Santy came,
the story is told.
Cattle weren't stirrin', fact they's
bunched against the cold.
The tack was hung near the
chuckwagon with care.
Why, we didn't know Santy was
close anywhere.
Cowboys on the ground were
wishin' for their beds
While nightmares of wild steers
ran through their heads.
'Tween now and the next gather,
we needed a nap.
Cookie had just finished, and
tied down the flap.
When out past the cavvy, there
rose such a fuss,
I sprang to my feet, leavin'
the bedroll a muss,
And grabbin' my shotgun and my
ragged ol' hat
I run t'ward the racket thinkin'
"... what'n thunder's that?"
When thoughts of amazement
through my head courses,
It was a buckboard teamed up
with draft horses,
A driver in red buckskins, so
spry and dainty,
I know'd in an instant, it
must be ol' Santy.
Quicker than more...