Russia Jokes / Recent Jokes

Loping down a Manhattan street, the boxer stopped and wagged his tail in friendly greeting at a Russian wolfhound, likewise unencumbered by collar or leash.
"How do you like America?" he asked.
"Well, it's different from my homeland," said the wolfhound. "In Russia I eat bones dipped in vodka and caviar. In Russia I have my own doghouse made of rare Siberian woods. In Russia I sleep on a rug made of thick warm ermine."
"Then why did you come to America?"
"I like to bark once in a while."

"They're not even on the same continent!" said Bush. "Plus, my axis of evil list is already pretty long. But I really do get a kick out of saying'Putin!'"

It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"
The professor gently smiles at him and says: "Of course not - if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"

An American mathematician returns home from a conference in Moscow^
An American mathematician returns home from a conference in Moscow on real and complex analysis.
The immigration officer at the airport glances at his landing card and says: "So, your trip to Russia was business related. What's the nature of your business?"
"I am a professor of mathematics."
"What kind of mathematics are you doing?"
The professor ponders for a split second, trying to come up with something that would sound specific enough without making the immigration officer suspicious, and replies: "I am an analyst."
The immigration officer more...

There's something most people don't know about Hezbollah boss Nasrallah. In Russian, the word "nasrallah" means “She took a dump.” Applied to Hassan Nasrallah's mother, that name is most appropriate. Because clearly, her son was defecated into the world.

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
[click] [click]
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his more...

A thunderstorm caused a Russian airliner to crash, killing 171 people. "Although," cautioned an official, "we aren't ruling out the possibility that the storm was sent by Allah."

Why is Russia a very fast country? Because the people are always Russian!