Rome Jokes / Recent Jokes

A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, "Tell me, Becky, have you heard by chance what's going on in Rome?" "No," said Mrs Finkelstein. "I haven't. What's going on in Rome?" "A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other things, decided that the Jews are not responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus." Mrs Finkelstein raised her eyebrows. "Indeed? And who is responsible, then?" "I'm not sure," said Mrs. Moskowitz. "I think they suspect the Puerto Ricans."

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

A man walked in to Joe's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks' What's up?'

The man proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome.

'ROME?!' Joe says,' Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You'd be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?'

'We're taking TWA,' the man replies.

'TWA?!' yells Joe.' They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late! So where you staying in Rome?'

The man says' We'll be at the downtown International Marriot.'

'That DUMP?!' says Joe.' That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?'

The man says' We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope.'

'HA! That's rich!' laughs Joe.' You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll more...

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at the downtown International Marriott." "That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?" "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip more...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rome!
Rome who?
Rome is where the heart is!

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there? ”
“We’re taking TWA, ” was the reply. “We got a great rate! ”
“TWA? ” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome? ”
“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott. ”
“That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there? ”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope. ”
“That’s rich, ” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck more...

There once was a husband and wife who were unable to have children. After consulting everyone who would listen to their problem, they were still unsatisfied. Finally, they consulted their family priest.
"My children," the priest began, "The Lord will listen to your prayers, and I am sure that you will be blessed with children shortly. In fact, I am planning an extended stay in Rome, and while I'm visiting the Vatican, I will light a candle for you."
"Thank you, Father, thank you!" said the couple.
Before leaving, the priest turned and said, "I am sure everything will work out just fine for you. My stay in Rome will be for quite some time-15 years. But when I return, I will be sure to pay you a visit."
And so, 15 years came and went, and the priest returned to the States.
While resting on his porch one mid-summer morning, he remembered the promise of paying a visit that he had made 15 years ago. So he made his way to their more...