Revision Jokes

At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinking I could never pass with no revision guide,
But then I spent so many nights, getting all the questions wrong,
And I grew strong,
And I learned I could scrape along,
I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow 15 cans and get completely off my face,
I would have revised by the clock,
I would have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,
So all my notes, are on the floor,
Don't even matter... that there's no rock night anymore...
Weren't you the one,
Who tried to get me to revise?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd work towards the skies?
Oh no, not I!
I won't revise! BR> Unless I die of beer stains, I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end,
I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise,
I won't revise!
It took all the strength I had, not to act the part,
But in the more...

Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question.
Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?
UNIX consultant: Yes, that's correct.
Customer: No, what is it?
UNIX consultant: Yes.
Customer: So, which is the one?
UNIX consultant: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer: Stop this. Who are you?
UNIX consultant: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to
get information about yoo.
Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code.
UNIX consultant: Use 'what'.
Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?
UNIX consultant: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer: Which one?
UNIX consultant: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'.
Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
UNIX consultant: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program'
to get the revision code.
Customer: I want to find more...

Revision codes
Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there’s substantially more information available through the rev-code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify.
1. 0: Also known as “one point uh-oh”, or”barely out of beta”. We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We’re praying that you’ll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.
1. 1: We fixed all the killer bugs …
1. 2: Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.
2. 0: We did the product we really more...

A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South Florida which will replace the traditional call of "FORE".
Once a player has hit an errant shot he will be allowed to call "GORE" while the ball is still in flight. He can then replace the ball in the same spot and hit it again.
The player can do this until he is satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first place. This will cause the time of play to be extended until such time the player can claim the hole.
This revision is causing some consternation to the PGA but proponents say it is only fair.
A recent test of this new rule was recently played out in an exclusive club in Palm Beach County Florida and the first hole only took 19 days to complete.

A morron sitting in front of mirror and doing his homework Mother asked: why are you doing your h. w in front of mirror Morron: mamma iam doing my revision also