Respond Jokes / Recent Jokes

HUSBAND 1.0 There are alot of pressures to upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0
to Husband 1.0. However before doing so make sure you understand the
implications of this change...
For one, system activity will be severely limited and you will be compelled
to instigate rigorous daily routines in space management, garbage disposal
and disc cleaning often with an accompanying increase in system
administration. This program can also be a drain on many resources and
demand constant attention. You will encounter an increased amount of
interrupts and error messages, while the program often cancels processes
without warning, very often crashing the system. In addition, Husband
1.0 often refuses to respond to your commands and frequently appears to
be running processes which you have not authorised. If this happens
alot, do not respond to any interactive requests from the program and
severely limit demand for extra bytes.
Every evening there will more...

Q- How does a blonde respond to a boy when he says I got beef?
A- When can i jerk?
Q- How does a blonde respond when her friend says "me and some girl had beef at the chinese restaurant earlier today"?
A- dID YOU TWO HAVE THAT WITH BROCOLLI.
Q- What did the girl say to the cat?
A- mE got pussy too?

Pest-by-Modem Here's how to be a pest-by-modem: * Make up fake acronyms. On-line veterans like to use abbreviations likeIMHO (in my humble opinion) and RTFM (read the f...... manual) to showthat they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand foranything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse toexplain what they stand for ("You don't know? RTFM"). * WRITE ALL YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE PERIODS OR RETURNS SOTHAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE ALSOUSE A LOT OF! !!!!! AND DDOOUUBBLLEESS TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUTBEING HERE!!!!!!!*When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling andpoint out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content oftheir messages. When they respond testily to your' creative criticism,"do it again. Continue until they go away. * Software and files offered on-line are often "compressed" so that itwon't take so long to more...

Make up fake acronyms. On-line veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) and RTFM (read the f…… manual) to show that they’re “hip” to the lingo. Make up your own that don’t stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for (”You don’t know? RDFM”).
WRITE ALL YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON’T USE PERIODS OR RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE ALSO USE A LOT OF! !!!!! AND DDOOUUBBLLEESS TO SHOW THAT YOU’RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!!!!!!!
When replying to your mail, correct everyone’s grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don’t otherwise respond to the content of their messages. When they respond testily to your ‘creative criticism, ” do it again. Continue until they go away.
Software and files offered on-line are often “compressed” so that it won’t take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a more...

The mouse is more like a penis, not only because the mouse is
Pussy-cat's favourite, it is also for the following reasons:
1) Some have it, some don't
2) Those who have it, put far more importance to it than its size
3) They will be devastated if it is ever cut, although the removing
this does not have any serious effect on the main body
4) Younger people use it much more than older ones
5) It doesn't always respond
6) When you want to use it and if it doesen't respond you feel devastated
7) when its unresponsive it needs the right touch to get it working
8) Although the whole thing is moving, only its one end is responsive
(sensitive to the touch)
9) You can play games with it
10) it fits nicely in your right hand.
11) it points to things
12) it controls the operation of larger more important things
13) it can be rolled about
14) it prefers to perform on soft & smooth surfaces. Used against a more...