Removing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix' em, put' em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command (”Jump! ”).
In a first stage of experiment he removed flea’s leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: “Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly. ”
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly. ”
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly. ”
Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: “Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing”

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar: Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").
In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."
Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"

The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes Assigned
Winerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything
Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly
Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet)
Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)?
Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error
Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename
Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash
Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited
Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy
Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors
Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered
Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement
Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time
Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found
Winerr 00E - Open Standard more...

The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes Assigned
Winerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)? Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize Winerr 00F - Reserved for more...

The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes AssignedWinerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)? Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize Winerr 00F - Reserved for Future more...