Relatives Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Day After Christmas
It’s one day after Christmas
I’m crabby and I’m broke.
I’m so full of ham and fruitcake
I think I’m gonna croak.
It’s nice to see the relatives
I wonder when they’ll leave.
They’ve been camping in my bathroom
since early Christmas Eve.
They’re eating everything in sight
and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the basement
with my beagle, Fred.
The relatives have all gone out
and left their screaming brats.
The toilet bowl is all plugged up
and I can’t find the cat.
It’s Christmastime at my house,
the relatives are here.
They eat me out of house and home.
and drink up all my beer.
I love the decorations,
and the sleigh bells in the snow
But I wish those pesky relatives
would take their kids and go.
Those cookie crunchers fed the dog
a twenty pound rib roast.
His feet are sticking in the air
like more...

It’s one day after Christmas
I’m crabby and I’m broke.
I’m so full of ham and fruitcake
I think I’m gonna croak.
It’s nice to see the relatives
I wonder when they’ll leave.
They’ve been camping in my bathroom
since early Christmas Eve.
They’re eating everything in sight
and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the basement
with my beagle, Fred.
The relatives have all gone out
and left their screaming brats.
The toilet bowl is all plugged up
and I can’t find the cat.
It’s Christmas time at my house,
the relatives are here.
They eat me out of house and home.
and drink up all my beer.
Those cookie crunchers fed the dog
a twenty pound rib roast.
His feet are sticking in the air
like skinny old fence posts.
Now they’re in a free-for-all,
the girls against the boys.
They’re fighting over boxes
’cause they’re bored with all more...

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if
your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
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I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
where train stops. On my desk, I have a work
station.... what more can I say..........
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Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's
perfect......... so why practice?
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If it's true that we are here to help others, then,
what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound, people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
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How come "abbreviated" is such a more...

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

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I was born intelligent - Education ruined me.

***********
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
So why practice?

***********
If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?

***********
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.

***********
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

***********
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

***********
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
***********
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

***********
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is more...

Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
Save water.
Shower with your girl friend.
Love the neighbour.
But don't get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry,
And when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a day
than waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the more...

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.