Recovering Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Jo Brands does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, you give it to a bloody man to do, cos it's a piece of cake, isn't it? Well, no, actually, that expression is crap isn't it, because if you had a piece of cake, you'd bloody well eat it, wouldn't you?
Q: How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes twelve steps.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, as long as he admits he's powerless over light bulbs.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to screw it in and one to sponsor him.
Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, more...
A young reporter was sent on his first assignment.
He sent in the following report to the office -
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her breasts."
The editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. we don't use words like 'breasts' around here. Go back and write something more appropriate!"
The young reporter thought for a few minutes, and finally sent in this report -
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her ( . ) ( . )."
A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts." The Editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!" The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her (. )(. ) "
Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. "Yours is the tenth case I've treated;
the others all died."
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to screw it in and one to sponsor him.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, as long as he admits he's powerless over light bulbs.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes twelve steps.